LEARN THIS QUICK CONFIDENCE TRICK
or How To Appear Like You Know What You're Doing Despite Internal Evidence to the Contrary
My eyes darted around the room stopping briefly on famous faces.
I hate these events but I also love them.
I recently was at a movie premiere and the associated after-party.
The movie, Blackberry, was great. See it.
The event, the after-party, was flawlessly executed. Well thought out fun.
I braced for that unwelcome fear.
I’ve struggled with self-confidence my whole life.
Who am I?
What’s up with my hair?
Who do I want to be?
What’s going on with my face?
Our brains, being complete bastards, are always happy to capitalize on this.
Job interview?
Brain to you: “They can see right through you. You’re unqualified and your one ear is slightly bigger than the other. You know which one. That’s right, that one, Half-Price Dumbo.”
Casual conversation at an event?
Brain to you: “They don’t care about what you’re saying because you’re story is terrible, you’re terrible at telling stories anyway, and there’s probably some crud at the edge of your left nostril. I’m pretty sure you can feel it. You can, can’t you?”
Brains… biology’s dickwads.
I know I’m not alone on that but I think I’ve found a two step solution for it.
Ready? Here are the steps in reverse…
Step 2: Stop caring.
I don’t mean be an asshole. I mean, stop worrying about it.
No one escapes self-doubt. No one.
However, the successful people you see looking all confident have actually just learned to stop caring about looking confident.
While that may sound simplistic, it works.
The trick is to remember to stop caring about looking confident while you’re in those situations where you’re trying to look….uh, confident.
Step 1: Forgive yourself.
Life is fleeting and built for mistakes.
You will make many mistakes.
You will forget where you were going with that story.
You will have something in your teeth.
You will realize your zipper was down for the whole meeting (true story).
You will say the wrong thing.
You will needlessly overcompensate.
You will forget their name.
You will do the wrong thing.
You will awkwardly stumble in and out of conversations.
Everyone does.
Every single goddamn person on the planet that ever was and will be does.
Think of how many other people you have forgiven for these things.
Forgive yourself.
Move on.
Confidently.
###