NO IS THE WORST - Brittlestar’s Weekly Newsletter - Issue #27
Before we start… if you listen to podcasts, please take a listen to my new series CanadaLastWeek.ca. It’s short and funny and Jon Cryer is the guest this week. Thanks.
NO IS THE WORST
I was chatting with Morgan Fairchild this week.
No, seriously. She seems very nice.
When I was in my teens I had an abundance of confidence. While some of my childhood friends worked on building their muscles, I worked on building my ego.
I literally would practice smiling in the mirror. Yes, that sounds slightly concerning when I hear it now but… let’s move on.
Building my ego was a form of self-defense, obviously, but it did serve me well. My largely meritless self-confidence got me into many meetings with people who really should have been meeting with people who deserved to be there more than me. Job interviews, record company interviews, and more.
I lost that confidence at the end of my teens and it didn’t really come back until I was in my thirties… spurred on by acute awareness of my own mortality. I decided there was no longer any time to waste on being shy and keeping my head down.
That return of confidence spawned the realization that the saying ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained’ is true. Painfully so.
I learned that when you ask for something, ‘no’ is the worst you can get.
That’s it. That’s really the worst.
eg.
“Can I have this?”
“No.”
“Okay.”
Now, of course, WHAT you ask for can have an additional consequence beyond your question. For example, asking a veterinarian if you can dress up as a human-sized talking cat to taunt the dogs when they wake up from surgery might come back with a ‘no’ and perhaps a ride in a police car. Especially if you just show up already wearing the cat suit to ask the question.
*That last paragraph is made up and is not a charming anecdote. Honest.
Any reasonable-ish question can be asked and the worst response you’ll get is ‘no’.
The bonus is that even if you don’t get what you asked for, you now know that and get to move on.
I haven’t mastered this entirely yet but I’m getting pretty good. It’s kind of thrilling. Just asking for what you want.
Did I tell you I was chatting with Morgan Fairchild this week?
No, not romantically. Get your mind out of the gutter.
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