I’ve been largely self-employed since I was 19.
I took a few jobs here and there… in a toy store, an office supply store, a record store or two, but for the majority of the time since I was 19 I’ve been self-employed.
My first actual business was writing and recording radio jingles. I loved the process of being forced to be creative within the strict parameters of time (usually 30 seconds), messaging and style.
I once did a jingle for a downtown association. I would travel 4 hours for meetings with their committee. Play them demos, take notes and then return to the studio where I would have hired musicians apply their desired changes.
During one of the meetings a committee member said they would like to hear “some saxophone” in the mix. Sure, I replied, and headed back to the studio.
I returned a week later with a new mix complete with a lovely saxophone part written in. The same committee member who’d asked for “some saxophone” now asked “what’s that noise in the background?” That’s the saxophone you requested, I replied through gritted teeth, while biting my tongue and dabbing away the blood that was starting to trickle out of my mouth and ears. Then I returned to studio to remove the saxophone (these were different days using tape to record… no easy peasy digital editing… yes, I am THAT old).
I hate that part of my self-employment.
It’s taught me a number of lessons though. Some are obvious like, if you want something you have to put in the effort. Some are less obvious like, Mondays are actually great… because no one pays their invoice on the weekend.
One lesson I hadn’t learned until recently.
Being self-employed is, much like living life, packed full of risks, rewards, disappointments, plans fulfilled, and plans failed. It is a never-ending carousel of uncertainty.
That used to (and honestly still does occasionally) get me down, but then I realized…
Uncertainty swings both ways.
Sometimes the longshots don’t pay off.
Sometimes they do.
Sometimes things don’t turn out the best.
Sometimes they turn out better.
Sometimes it feels like you’re never going to get ahead.
Sometimes you’re propelled forward beyond what you could have ever dreamt.
It’s the variable ratio of living that keeps me going. It keeps me optimistic… not entirely, not always, not concretely, but generally optimistic.
I know that things can’t always be good, but I’ve lived long enough to know that sometimes they can turn out amazing.
Don’t let uncertainty hold you back. It swings both ways.
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(Pictured: Author grapples with the uncertainty of his musical efforts while symbolism approaches from behind waiting to pounce)
I love this one so much. As an actress for more than two decades, this week's entry to ring so very true. Thank you for sharing this. All the absolute best to you
I needed this today. Thank you.