I can’t tell you the details yet.
However, I can tell you that life in the past week and life from only four weeks ago are incompatible.
They do not make sense together.
They cannot co-exist.
But somehow, they kinda do.
Four weeks ago myself, my sister and my Mom sat at my Dad’s hospital bedside and watched him slowly disappear.
Every breath he took was like watching a timer run out.
Memories raced through my head.
Had I said all I needed to say?
No.
Had we done all that I wanted us to do together?
No.
We humans are stupid and rarely get everything obvious done in the short time we get mainly because they seem too obvious. Idiots.
The worst was watching my Mom lose half of herself.
Like half of how she saw the world was being amputated.
It was heart wrenching.
It felt like we had descended to some level well below just ‘sad’.
Life felt dark.
Then…
Four weeks later, we have been filled with (and I am not overstating here… trust me, you’ll see) overwhelming waves of joy.
Unbelievable levels of happiness… miles above ‘happy’.
In just four weeks.
Four weeks to the day.
Bonkers.
We’re often made aware of how life can turn on a dime thanks to tragedy.
That’s a good notion to have in the back of your mind.
It keeps you focused on wringing out the good times.
We also need to be aware that life can turn on a dime thanks to unexpected overwhelming joy.
That’s a good notion to keep in the front of your mind when things seem dark and awful.
It keeps you focused on knowing that you’ll suddenly one day be back to the good times.
I imagine Life finds this quite funny.
The opposite of ‘tragedy’ is, apparently just, ‘joy’.
This feels an insufficient word for unexpected joy.
I propose a new word: trajoydy
trajoydy
/ˈtradʒɔɪdi/
noun
an unexpected event causing great joy
I fully realize this attempt at entering the popular lexicon will be unsuccessful but if Shakespeare made up words, so can I.
Give it a few hundred years, maybe it’ll take.
Anyway…
I guess the lesson is, enjoy the good times when they’re here and know they can come back, beyond what you can imagine, when you least expect it when they’re not.
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I am sorry for the loss of your Dad. Dads who are also friends are precious, and they are missed as long as our memories remain. I am glad a joy followed your pain.
I can’t wait to hear what has brought you joy after the loss of your dad!